A home invasion gone wrong(er). Fate brings an intruder to a teenager’s isolated home. Home alone, she’s the only one who can save her siblings. Are Your Parents Home is an extreme horror novel by Jon Athan that will keep you up at night. Let’s dig in!
NOTE: BUCKLE UP, SLUTPUPPIES. Before we get too far into this review, I just want to remind people that this is an extreme horror novel. Expect violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and graphic depictions of some of the most henious stuff you've ever seen put to paper. That being said, no novel is worth your mental health. Feeling too icky? Put the book down and pick up a cute horror choose-your-own-adventure instead.
What Is ‘Are Your Parents Home’ About?
When you leave your teenage daughter home alone for the weekend, your biggest concern is a party. Instead, Are Your Parents Home opens with a chilling scene: Ella is terrified, calling her mom as she listens to the babbling of the Visitor on the other side of the door. He says he knows her. He says they’re meant to be together. He says he’s going to slaughter and eat her siblings. He says he’s going to rape her. If Ella wants to survive the night, she’s going to need to use every strength she has. And all we can do for her, dear reader, is pray.
This book was equal parts revolting and terrifying from beginning to end, and when I tell you I haven’t slept right in a week, please understand how serious that is. I’m suing because I have been personally victimized by Jon Athan’s twisted mind. This book is a pitch black splatterpunk / extreme horror read, and it is not to be taken lightly. But the characters are fantastic, the Visitor is bone-chilling, and the horrors will live with you long after you finish this one.
Things I Liked…
Where the hell do I start with this one? Honestly, there are so many things in this book that are done so well. The Intruder is absolutely horrifying, Ella is a character with depth (and a million faults), and there is absolutely no punches pulled. It’s graphic, brutal, and terrifying. And if you’re into splatterpunk (and you can make it to the end), you’ll adore this one.
There’s no way to talk about all of the things I loved without talking about The Visitor. While his name is later revealed, he remains a nameless, horrifying, killing machine throughout the majority of the story (and will remain unnamed here). The Visitor terrifies me for the same reason Heath Ledger’s Joker terrifies me. There’s something horrifying about a thing that can’t be reasoned with. He doesn’t want money, or sex, or an ego boost. He’s here on what he believes is a holy mission, and the only thing he wants is brutality. There’s no scene with this thing where you feel like he’s present. He rambles nonsense through the entirety of the story. He screams and attacks corpses because they won’t answer him. He talks to people who are not there. He is convinced Ella knows him on some cosmic level. And every scene we see of this creature just reminds us how much danger Ella and her siblings are in. It is such an amazing way to build the fear and the tension throughout the story, and I genuinely think this needs to be studied by all horror authors.
And as a direct foil, we have poor Ella. While The Visitor is this blurry non-human monster, Ella is as human as you can get. She’s a young teenager who is constantly caught between her need to do something and her paralyzing fear of being killed. Throughout the book, Ella watches as the most brutal assaults are committed on her friends and her family, and it creates a really unique bond with the character. Ella is us. We’re also here, screaming out for someone to save the poor kids but also helpless to change anything. It adds another dimension to the writing that makes the entire story seem so much more real. Ella is lovable for how flawed she is, and even though I spent half the book screaming at her to just pick an escape route and stick with it, I really wouldn’t have changed anyting about her.
… And Things I Didn’t
My adoration for this book makes it an immediate 5-star read, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t have problems with it. For starters, I did not find the ending satisfying at all. Curious what I mean? SPOILERS AHEAD!
Are Your Parents Home was a brutal slog. The violence is absolutely unmatched, The Visitor is unhinged, and the brutality is something you can feel in your bones. And the only thing that really kept me going was the small hope inside me that at some point, this was going to turn around. I wanted Ella to finally pluck her courage together and really give as good as she got. I wanted poor little Riri to make a surprise appearance and save her sister. I did not get that. Not really, at least. Not in any way I found satisfying. The revenge doesn’t even begin until around the 80 ro 90% mark in the story, and it wasn’t nearly as brutal as I was hoping for. This is a pitch black book, and I really don’t think anyone should go into it if they’re hoping for some redemption. Just because it will disturb you as much as I Spit On Your Grave, it doesn’t mean we’re getting the same revenge. Lesson learned.
Final Thoughts
If you never want to sleep well again, this book is for you. Jon Athan’s Are Your Parents Home? is an absolutely brutal extreme horror novel filled with unrelenting brutality, deeply flawed heroes, and no concern for your mental well being— and I loved every single moment of it!
If you read it, let me know how you felt! And if you too feel personally victimized by Jon Athan’s book of nightmares, send me an email. I think we only need 20 of us to start a class action. Can we sue on the tort of loss of sleep? Is that a thing?